Broom Closet Encounters
by Chuck Norris Worshipper
Summary: "Hello, Lily, dearest! Fancy meeting you here!" I could practically see that stupidly cheerful smile on his face, as if he were genuinely happy to see me. Creepy little bugger, Potter... "Why am I locked in a broom closet with you, Potter?"


**_STRONGLY SUGGESTED THAT YOU READ "An Almost Yes" and "What Women Do For Chocolate" (or something like that XD) IN THAT ORDER BEFORE READING THIS... But you don't have to. :)_**

**Okay, so, I wasn't able to post yesterday. But Wednesdays suck. :) They're always really hectic. And I wasn't able to get on for a while. This one-shot has more of a chapter-y feel, I'll admit. Maybe it's because it's my 3rd one with the same characters and plot. :D So, I'm going to start writing a story. I'm not sure on the title, or when it'll be posted, or anything. :p I think I'm ready to start writing this as a story. The one-shots will be included, but probably not as their own chapters as I prefer longer chapters... The story will be JamesxLily, but will have SiriusxOC (Audrey) in it. I REALLY hope you read it. I think I'll start from 6th year because immature James is SO much more fun than mature James. :D Plus, it gives you time to get to know everyone.**

**I hope you enjoy. This has got to be my worst yet. , Review, please! :D I need to know where I slipped up on, seriously.  
**

BROOM CLOSET ENCOUNTER 1 (6th year):

"Hello, Lily, dearest! Fancy meeting you here!" I could practically see that stupidly cheerful smile on his face, as if he were genuinely happy to see me. Creepy little bugger, Potter…

"Why am I locked in a broom closet with you, Potter? I bet you planned this!" I hissed accusingly at him, jabbing the air where I was sure he was.

"Lily, dear, I'm over here."

"Oh, shut up! How can you even SEE?"

"My eyes have adjusted."

"Where is your bloody wand?" I hissed.

"Sirius took it from me. Actually, he summoned it."

"Why? WHY am I locked in a broom closet with you?"

"To figure out your feelings for him, of course." Came the all too familiar voice of Sirius Black. I wanted to scream. I had almost come to thought of him as a friend, and soon I would be the godmother of Sirius and Audrey's child, but at the moment I couldn't stand him. He had so much sass. Last night, Audrey had been feeling terrible and almost in tears because she saw Sirius sucking the face off of some random girl. Audrey didn't even know why she was crying. But _I _knew!

"I feel nothing towards this arrogant toe-rag in front of me. I bet you planned this, Potter! And Black is just playing along!"

"Oh, dearest Lily! I thought we were on first name basis." Sirius said through the door.

"If you want to talk, Sirius, you have to come IN the broom closet." I retorted. "I can't believe you, Potter."

"Lily-kins, I love you so, but that idea is utterly absurd. I would just a bit more of a romantic setting. Sirius stuffed me in here an

hour ago."

"He stuffed you in an HOUR AGO? Why?"

"I think he liked hearing me beg." I imagined Potter shrugging as he said this.

"You planned this!" I hissed, and threw a wild punch. A satisfying crack filled me with satisfaction. So, I did it again. I kicked him for good measure, and thought I would stop there. I mean, Potter's whimpers were extremely satisfying, but… He WAS my partner. Sort of.

But it was addictive—punching Potter. So I kept going. Potter let out girlish squeals of terror as I did.

He tried to speak through "oomph!"'s and "OH MY!"'s. "Lily de—OOMPH!—ar, your hair—OWIE!—looks abso—OH MY!—lutely stunning when yo—OW!—u're so intent on m—OOMPH!—urdering me."

"You're SICK. You can't even see my hair!"

"I'm imagining—OOMPH—it as you pu—OH MY!—nch me. Would you—OW!—happen to be—OW!—planning on stopping—HOLY SHIZZLE!—any time soo—OW!—oon?" He grunted. "I think my—OWIE!" He squealed. "nose is broken.I stopped. That was a nice wakeup call—I have been PUNCHING the stupid git in front of me for two minutes! THAT'S A LONG TIME. Oh, I never thought I was the violent type! …I'm not. Only when it comes to Potter am I so violent.

"Oh, sorry." I said meekly, and reached up to him hesitantly… His shoulder. Dang, he was tall. I reached up higher, and found his chin… his lips… HIS NOSE! I let out a squeak as I felt warm liquid touch my hand. "Good Merlin, I'm sorry! Sirius, we need out. James has a bloody nose… Or I broke it. I think I broke it."

The door flew open and I blinked at the dizzying light. Audrey let out a startled laugh, and I opened my eyes to see Audrey standing in front of us. Sirius came into view, and he let out a booming laugh. "You muggle borns are hilarious! You find ways to fight without magic!" Sirius clapped his hands together childishly.

I turned to look at James, and gasped. He looked absolutely ghastly. His glasses were just about falling off, his gorgeous face twisted into a grimace. His nose was gushing blood, and quite crooked. He needed someone to set that fast… He was hugging his toned arms across his chest, looking like he was bracing for another punch from me. I frowned unhappily. I had really let myself get carried away—but he was just so infuriating!

His nose was a ghastly sight. It was sort of mashed to the right side of his face, and it looked bloody hilarious. I wish someone else had done this to him so I could laugh, but I couldn't because _I _had caused the damage. "Oh, dear… Can I have my wand, Audrey? I need to set his nose."

"No!" James whined childishly. "That will hurt!"

"Do you want a crooked nose? Believe me, it's a hilarious sight, but I think you'd like your old, perfectly straight nose." I snapped at him. Audrey handed me my wand, and I muttered, "_Episkey_," and there was a crack as his nose went back into place. It was sickening—I can't believe I enjoyed it before. James screamed girlishly.

"I am so, so sorry, James!" I exclaimed soon after. "I got a bit carried away—"

"I hurt… all over!" He moaned.

"C'mon, mate. Let's go take you to Madame Pomfrey."

"You would tell her it was me, will you?" I asked worriedly.

"You just beat up James, and all you can think about is yourself?" Sirius called back.

"Yes, obviously! I mean, James is hardly human."

BROOM CLOSET ENCOUNTER 2:

"Where are we going?" I asked Audrey in confusion. "The common room isn't on the first floor, I'm pretty sure."

"Dorcas told us to meet us on the first floor before we head up to the common room—don't you remember?"

"Uh, no…"

"She told us at lunch. Of course, you were thinking of James, so you're excused."

"You'd better be teasing…" I hinted.

"Oh, lighten up!" Audrey laughed. "You guys are meant to be! Lily, what is your patronus?"

"A doe. You already knew that!"

"What is James?"

"A stag."

"What is a stag, Lily dearest?"

"Um, I don't really know. I was sick that day. You helped with my patronus in the Room of Requirement." I reminded her. Yes, we know about the Room of Requirement. Dorcas and Sirius dated for a period of time (Audrey almost died of jealousy) and he took her there. Dorcas filled us in on the awesomeness of the room. Ever since, we've used it to go swimming or a place to cram. It's pretty easy—you just think: "I need a place where time stops." And if you bring the right stuff… You're all set!

"A stag is a male deer, dearest."

"That means nothing!" I hissed. "What is Sirius's patronus?"

"A shaggy dog—"

"And yours is too!"

"It is NOT that shaggy…"

"It's still a long haired, fluffy dog. Sirius and you have the same patronus, but I don't see you guys making love declarations."

"It is DEFINITELY not the same thing. You and James have DEER, for pete's sake! You've been in love since third year. You need to get over your bloody pride and just fall into his arms!"

"Don't you get it?" I scowled at her. "Even if I did have feelings for him, and I fell into his arms, he wouldn't catch me."

Audrey stopped walking, and so did I. She turned me to face her, and I was shocked to feel the sudden hot tears sting my eyes. I blinked furiously, trying to make the stinging stop.

"Is that your problem? You think this is all a game to him?"

"Isn't it?" I hissed. "He's just extremely stubborn. He needs to get over himself and start looking for his bloody soul mate or whatever."

"He smelled you, Lily. You smelled him."

"Anyone can smell like that!" At her apprehensive look, I added, "…Any Potter…"

"James is an only child."

"He has cousins!" I persisted. "He's pureblood—AHA! Yet ANOTHER reason why we shouldn't get together. I'm a mudblood, dearest."

"Number one, no calling yourself that. Number two, James's parents don't care about blood status—"

"Oh, and they just HAPPENED to marry purebloods, and so did their parents, and their parents, and their parents!" I said sarcastically. "It doesn't make sense!" I persisted. We started walking again.

"You're being ridiculous. James adores you, but you're not giving him a chance."

"Silly Audrey, chances are for kids!" I joked.

"…I don't even know how that made sense."

"Sorry, forgot that you don't know anything about the muggle world. There's this commercial for this cereal called Trix, and it's like, "Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!", so I'm like, "Silly Audrey, chances are for kids!". See what I did there?"

"That would work if you were an adult. You are, in fact, a kid."

"I'm 17!"

"You're not really an adult till you 23."

"Why 23? Is 22 not good enough for you?" I said, trying to keep a straight face but was failing miserably.

"You're so retarded!" Audrey giggled.

"Sirius loves you anyways." I said comfortingly.

"…That didn't make sense."

"Well, you're were obviously talking about yourself as I am most definitely NOT retarded, and Sirius will love you despite the fact that you're insane for talking about yourself like you're someone else. He's also love you even though you're retarded, as you stated previously."

"Wonderful logic," Audrey rolled her eyes at me.

"Are your eyes okay? They've been lolling around a lot in this conversation!" I said, pretending to be concerned.

"Oh, shut up."

"What are we doing here?" I asked. We were standing in front of a broom closet… "Where's Dorcas?" Suddenly, it hit me. This had happened last year, too! And I feel for the Dorcas thing AGAIN! I began to run away, but strong arms grabbed my waist.

"_Accio Lily's wand._" Audrey smirked at me. My wand flew out of my robes, and I watched in horror as my key to freedom disappeared.

"How can you guys think this will work? Last time, James ended up with a bloody nose!" I hissed, looking back at Sirius accusingly as if to say, _He's your best mate!_

"You called James by his name!" Sirius smiled goofily.

"Oh shut up. Just stuff me in the broom closet. Do I get out if I break his nose again?"

"We'll set his nose back in place, then we'll stuff you guys back in." Audrey informed me. "It's foolproof!"

"Ingenius. Your friend came up with it."

"After many long hours." Audrey concluded, grinning.

"Hey, Sirius! AUDREY IS IN LOVE WITH YOU!" I said loudly, and her jaw dropped in anger, her cheeks turning red.

"I do NOT—" She said indignantly.

"YES, SHE DOES. AND SHE LUSTS FOR YOU—"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"Well, Audrey, I'm flattered… But that's sort of disgusting." Sirius said cruelly. Well, it wasn't a cruel tone but it was just cruel in my opinion.

"He's lying, Audrey. He's been lusting for you ever since you got boobs."

"Such crude language!" Sirius said in a "sissy boy" voice.

"He doesn't deny it! He loves you too!"

"I think Lily's lost it." Audrey stage-whispered, and Sirius seemed to nod in agreement.

"I'M STILL HERE, GUYS!" James's voice was muffled, but still there.

"Oh, right. We should be stuffing you in the broom closet, I suppose." Sirius said in a bored tone, and Audrey opened the door to the broom closet grandly, and Sirius (not so grandly) threw me in.

"AHH!" I squeaked, stumbling straight into James's arms.

"I told you he would catch you!" Audrey's voice sang I turned around to glare at her, only to see the door slam shut. It took me a moment for my eyes to adjust slightly.

"Evans, you're still in my arms." James whispered into my ears, and I was grateful for the darkness as I flushed, jumping off of him.

"S-sorry!" I squeaked.

"You okay, Evans?"

"No, I'm not!" I said, regaining my composure. "This is the second time I've been locked in a broom closet with you by our so called "best friends"."

"So, isn't this the part where you say that I planned this all?"

I flushed, and was glad for the darkness. "Uh, no. Sorry about that."

James laughed. Why do I insist on calling him Potter? James is a lovely name, and he's not all that bad. Besides how he sometimes calls me weird names, and asks me out… He doesn't even ask me out so much anymore. "What are we doing?" I suddenly asked.

"What?" James asked, sounding confused.

"What are we doing?" I repeated. "I don't know where you and me stand."

"Well, we're not quite friends." I could hear the frown in his voice.

"Not enemies, either." I realized. "It's getting tiring fighting you, James."

"Then say yes."

"No. I'm not going to go on a date with you." I bristled, but continued. "I don't want to be your romantic interest, but I want to be your friend."

"I think I can live with that." He agreed, and I was surprised. He gave in that easy? But then again, when had he ever refused me besides when I had asked him to stop calling me certain names and to stop asking me out?

"So… Friends?"

"Friends." He agreed.

Wow. I'm friends—JUST FRIENDS—with bloody James Potter. Who knew being locked in a broom closet with your so called "enemy" can actually do some good? But who says this is GOOD? I'M FRIENDS WITH JAMES BLOODY POTTER! WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

Now, that would be a nice place to stop at, but we weren't being let out of the broom closet just yet. "Guys, we've solved our issues! …Can we please come out now?" I called.

"No, you guys must become friends. Sure, you agreed on it, but you must talk! Anyways, we're going back to the common room. We'll wait for prefects to find you." Sirius said gallantly, and I heard them chat as they walked away. I scowled.

"Well, this sucks." I said, kicking the door.

"Oh, it's not so bad. Now we get the chance to get to know each other!" Potter grinned (or I imagined him grinning).

"Whatever…" I muttered.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Brown." I said without thinking. Brown looked good with red hair, brown was warm, brown was… the color of James's eyes. Dang. Well, not really. James's eyes were hazel with violet and pale yellow specks. Amazing eyes, truly… And I don't mean this in a lovey-dovey compliment sort of way. They really are stunning eyes. Just like mine are stunning emerald green. My eyes are my favorite part of me. "What's yours?"

"Green. Like your eyes."

A year or so ago, this would have annoyed me to no end. But I was starting to realize that James Potter's life did not revolve around me. Just because his favorite color was my eyes didn't mean he wanted to get in my pants… Did it? I mean, he probably does, but still. Would hormones even drive you to do chase after someone for 6 or 7 years?

"I'm tired." I said suddenly, sinking to the floor.

"You talk in your sleep." James blurted out suddenly.

"I do?" I asked in horror. "You're such a stalker for even knowing that—we don't even share a room!"

"I will not deny that I am a creeper!" He declared loudly.

"What have you heard me say?" I asked warily.

"You say thing about Sirius in violent scenarios. You say the names of your friends. You…" He stopped suddenly.

"What?" I asked fearfully, trying to get past that James comes into my room at night and listens to me talk when I can't control my voice… Oh, Merlin. What have I said?

"You… say my name. Sigh it, really."

"That doesn't make sense, considering I feel nothing towards you. Not even a spark of friendship, but like I said, I'm sick of fighting."

"Lily, if you truly hated me, you would never tire of fighting me."

"Who said I hated you? I used to, you know. I really did—it was the worst emotion I have ever felt. At the time, it felt great. It almost kept me alive. But hatred fades, really. You can't hate someone forever, no matter what the books tell you. Unless, of course, the person is truly evil. That's extremely hard to come by, though."

"That's deep."

"Yeah."


End file.
